I thought it was about time to dedicate myself to another reality TV
train wreck dating show, so when I saw the previews for ‘Love in the Wild’ I knew that I had to give this one a go. I was not disappointed. Beyond that, I absolutely loved it. It has everything that this season of The Bachelorette is lacking – mostly people who, while vapid and self-centered, are not as boring as folding clothes (sorry, that was insulting to clothes everywhere).
‘Love in the Wild’ is essentially an exact copy of Paradise Hotel which if you read this blog regularly, you know will go down as my favorite reality show of all time. On Paradise Hotel people were forced to couple up and then each week someone would leave the show and they would bring someone new in. They were also forced to share a room which allowed for more hook-ups, back-stabbing and gratuitous ab shots.
Love in the Wild is very similar. So there are 10 dudes and 10 chicks – all relatively attractive (with some Monets mixed in) with the exception of a caveman and a girl who appears to be on the fast track to looking like this (I’m looking at you Vanessa. Slow down on the plastic surgery). They have to pair up and complete adventures (I like how they, rightly so, classify open-mouthed kissing as an adventure). The winning couple is spared elimination while the remaining pairs can re-pick partners until there are an odd man and woman out. Between the adventure and the elimination, the contestants get liquored up, hang out at the pool and have to share a room. Love it. Also, the winning couple gets to go spend the night at a fantasy suite (for lack of a better term) complete with hot tub.
Basically it took the best parts of Paradise Hotel, The Amazing Race, Bachelor Pad and added a splash of The Bachelor/Bachelorette. Then they moved the show to Costa Rica. And to top it off, they also picked an awesome (so far) Australian host who makes fun of them and forces the contestants to hug. All it took was 5 minutes and I was hooked.
Because I wasn’t sure if I would be able to commit to Love in the Wild (’til death do us part is a long time, like 13 episodes), I didn’t watch this episode with my computer in tow to take notes (Yes, I am that nerdy. I’ve accepted it. So should you.). So here are some of my favorite highlights.
The preview montage pretty much had everything I was looking for in a reality show. This was a good example of a necessary and effective montage – Bachelorette producers, take note. Our hunky host Darren let’s us know that these 20 contestants are here on the “Greatest adventure of all. Love. And right then, we knew it was on.
So the couples are:
Dawn and Jared
Vanessa and Steele (who is a pro-golfer which instantly makes Drew love this show)
Erica and miles
Samantha and mike
Jessica and skip
Kym and Derek
Heather and ben
Brandy and Adam
Jason and Jessica
Teresa and Peter
For the first adventure, the contestants begin by constructing a raft and sailing down river. Each pair is given a map which with directions on where to head. This instantly begins the fight every couple has had for all eternity. Which way do we go?
Some couples are obviously better than others (and some people just want to talk about how their groin is sore. thanks miles for the TMI) with Samantha and Mike being exponentially better than Dawn and Jared which means S&M (yup, I’m calling them that) won and SEVEN HOURS later Dawn and Jared finally finished. Host Darren was clearly annoyed that he had to stand out there and wait til nightfall for those losers to finish.
The winning duo head to their fantasy suite at a fancy hotel while the rest of the couples head back to a resort where they binge drink while hot tubbing (and we all know how dangerous that can be). The one take-away here is that we find out who is going to be coo coo for cocoa puffs and who just wants to hook-up as much as possible. Vanessa and Kym are looking to be our crazies while Steele and Derek are just trying to get it where they can. We also find out that not all the contestants have banging bodies (I won’t name names) and that everyone hates Ben.
While the other singles are having the time of their lives, Samantha and Mike sit Indian style on their hotel bed and practice getting to first base (So I’m guessing they won’t be using the hot tub). These two form an “instant connection” and I’m thinking that these two will probably be an established couple the entire season. As for the rest of the crew, they all play musical partners and switch it up.
I didn’t make note of all the new pairs but I do know that Vanessa kept her crazy claws in Steele so they are still a duo. At the end of the day, Dawn and Jared (aka slow and slower) had to pack their bags and head on home.
This recap was pretty piss poor but this was really just an experiment to decide whether this show was worth adding to the blog’s repertoire and I’ve officially decided it is. Unlike The Bachelorette, where I continuously bash my head against the wall out of her stupidity and boring-ness, Love in the Wild left me wanting more. It is full of SE, fake ta-ta’s (or bombs as my brother-in-law calls them), ab-tastic dudes with the potential for juicy hookups, backstabbing and lots and lots of crying. But if you want to read some of the dumb s**t people said on the show last night, check this out.
Bring. It. On.
Next week, I promise to bring a play-by-play recap that will make you love this show as much as I do.
Until then… stay tuned!